my reflecttion

i thinking maybe dreaming up reasons
to why i wake up and sing, to why i feel so much everyday of my life.. music affects me and captures me so, what is success in the music industry these days? i can shake my ass and dress like a slut and maybe have better luck. i can sing about shit that means nothing to me and make millions.. i can be evil and spread false rumors to sabotage my adversary's... but you see...
thats not me and it shall never be.

but at the same time.. the songs that inspire me to EVERYDAY write and
everyday to love those around me .. they keep me going.. they bring a feeling to my heart that wraps around my entire exterior.. my lyrics themselves reveal myself to me.. i can look at myself without a mirror.. without a photograph to capture my emotion.. my laughter is on pages i write, my tears are deep inside a beautiful tune i hum, my pain lies inside the drum beat that makes your heart vibrate.. my childhood lies in songs i never dreamt i'd hear again.. the sounds flew into my ears.. and thats when i knew.. i think i have always known.. that this is what im meant to do.. more than anything could ever mean.. i feel it stronger than people feel in god, and i will be as bold as to say that.. because to me it is everything.. it is the way i grow and the way i shrink to a comfertable size.. the way i scream IM IN LOVE! the way i yell.. i've lost it all.. the light that shines in my room with all the lights off around me.. and the night sky taking over the world i live in... it is.. fucking everything. it has lead me to this computer.. at 4 in the morning.. it lead me to my streets once again to dance just ten minutes ago..
it is the sweat that is dripping slightly down my forhead at this very moment..
the way my heart is beating..
it is all your fault music..
you beautiful surreal cosmical creature..
music is a being.. and i believe she is my reflection..